Gaslighting, a form of psychological manipulation, is more common than many people realize. This type of emotional abuse can occur in romantic, family, and work relationships, and even in medical settings. According to Robin…
Gaslighting , a form of psychological manipulation, is more common than many people realize. This type of emotional abuse can occur in romantic, familial, and professional relationships, and even in medical settings. According to Robin Stern , a psychoanalyst and author of *The Gaslight Effect *, gaslighting undermines the victim's confidence, causing them to doubt their own reality. Here are nine examples of psychological manipulation that therapists have identified as clear signs of gaslighting.
1. “You always ruin things, luckily I’m here to help you.”
In the workplace, gaslighting can be used as a power tactic. A boss or colleague might make you doubt your abilities to prevent you from pursuing a promotion or to take credit for your work. According to Stephanie Sarkis , a psychotherapist and author of *Gaslighting: Recognize Manipulative and Emotional Abusive People—and Break Free* , this type of manipulation aims to undermine your confidence and control your career advancement.
2. “It’s not that serious, it’s probably all in your head”
In medical settings, gaslighting can be especially harmful. Some healthcare professionals downplay patients' symptoms, attributing them to anxiety or imagination. This can delay important diagnoses and seriously affect health. Women and minorities are particularly vulnerable to this type of manipulation.
3. “You can’t be depressed, you’re a strong woman”
Gaslighting can also be based on stereotypes of gender, race, or culture. For example, a person might be told they can't have dyslexia because they belong to an ethnic group considered "intelligent." This type of manipulation invalidates the victim's experiences and identity.
4. “You’re not hungry, you just ate”
In parenting, gaslighting can occur when parents invalidate their children's feelings or needs. For example, if a child says they are hungry, a parent might deny it to control their behavior. This can create confusion and damage the child's self-esteem in the long run.
5. “I only did it because I love you”
Some manipulators justify their actions as acts of love. For example, a husband might sabotage his partner's job opportunities, arguing that he is doing it for her well-being. This tactic seeks to control the victim's decisions under the guise of care.
6. “I’m not cheating on you, you’re just being paranoid.”
In cases of infidelity, the gaslighter may deny reality and blame the victim for their suspicions. This deflects attention from the inappropriate behavior and causes the victim to question themselves.
7. “No one will ever love you, except me”
Isolating the victim from loved ones is a common tactic in gaslighting. The manipulator may distort reality to convince the victim that only they love and care for them. This reinforces emotional dependence.
8. “You forced me to do this”
The silent treatment or outbursts of anger are forms of punishment used to control the victim. The manipulator blames the victim for their behavior, making them feel responsible for their anger or indifference.
9. “You are too sensitive”
Narcissists often use this phrase to invalidate the victim's feelings. By minimizing their emotions, the manipulator reinforces their control and makes the victim doubt their own perception.
What to do if you think you are being manipulated?
According to experts, the first step in dealing with gaslighting is recognizing it. Robin Stern recommends paying attention to how you feel during interactions, rather than focusing on who is right. If you constantly feel invalidated or confused, seek support from friends, family, or a therapist.
In many cases, the only way to stop gaslighting is to walk away from the relationship. However, it's important to do so carefully, as manipulators can react unpredictably. Stephanie Sarkis suggests creating a safe exit plan and avoiding further contact to prevent the manipulator from trying to regain control.
Conclusion
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation that can have devastating effects on self-esteem and mental health. Recognizing these tactics is the first step to protecting yourself and regaining your confidence. If you suspect you are being gaslighted, don't hesitate to seek professional help.